Reports an instance of abuse by a parent or caregiver
Has difficulty walking or sitting
Suddenly refuses to change for gym class or refuses to take part in physical activities
Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior
Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease, particularly if under 14 years old
Runs away
Or when a parent:
Shows an extreme protection toward the child, to the extent where the child cannot have contact with other children, especially with children of the opposite sex
Is secretive and isolated
Describes marital problems involving family power struggles or sexual relations
What To Do
The American Academy of Pediatrics says that the first important action to take if a child tells you about sexual abuse is to take what the child says seriously. Many children who report sexual abuse are not believed, and when a plea for help is ignored, the child may not risk telling again.
If the abuser is a friend or family member, parents will often try to stop sexual abuse themselves, but the AAP reports that a parental intervention is almost always unsuccessful.
Instead, they recommend reporting abuse to a local Child Protective Services, and also asking for crisis support help. Also, discussing the problem with the child's pediatrician, who can offer support and counseling, can help.
After sexual abuse is reported, what happens depends on the circumstances of the case. The risk of further abuse to the child is the first concern for authorities. The offender and the entire family may be required to attend a treatment program, and the offender may even face criminal charges. If the child's safety is in question, authorities can take the offender or victim out of the home during the investigation.
In order to prevent sexual abuse, the AAP suggests teaching children what sexual abuse is. Tell them they can and should say "no" or "stop" to adults who may threaten them sexually. Make sure they know that it's okay to talk about any attempt to molest them - no matter whom the offender may be.
The AAP also suggests that prevention measures should begin early since a number of child abuse cases involve preschoolers. They offer these guidelines for age-appropriate topics to discuss with children.
Age:
18 months: Teach your child the proper names for body parts.
3-5 years: Teach your child about "private parts" of the body and how to say "no" to sexual advances.
5-8 years: Discuss safety away from home and the difference between being touched in private parts of the body and other touching. Encourage your child to talk about scary experiences.
8-12 years: Stress personal safety and give examples of potential problem areas: arcades, malls, locker rooms, out-of-the-way places outdoors.
13-18 years: Re-stress personal safety and potential problem areas. Discuss rape, "date rape," STDs and unintended pregnancy.
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